Giving to the self doesn’t do it. Giving to others to get reward doesn’t do it. But doing something worthwhile is a different matter….

In a moment in time, in a moment in space, the eternal essence of simplicity can be found. Un-realised it waits silently, enlisting its alchemical nature to be given life through love eternal.

But what is this love? Is it love for another? Is it love for the self? Or is it the life expressed as love?

To many this may seem a little altruistic, others may be striving for it already. But how can I put this? How can I explain that the seeking and searching for love, happiness, self-worth and so on, cannot be found by directly seeking or forcing? Love comes in an instant, it comes in a moment.

We spend so much time trying to perfect ourselves, be it our looks, our clothes, our behaviour. Does this bring happiness? No.

Too much time is wasted trying to perfect others – does this bring them or us happiness? No.

All of this is superficial. We seek and search for that which we feel we do not have. This has an effect similar to two magnets repealing each other: that which we desire is driven just out of reach, time and time again.

If you are seeking self-worth, you may imagine your self worth improving with new clothes but the ones you want are probably too expensive. You may see it as losing those few last pounds but they will be the hardest to lose. You may feel you can gain it through the helping of others but then wait disappointedly for the gratitude and thanks that never comes.

This is because that which you are chasing, that which you want so badly is being magnetically driven away by the strength of your wants and desires. This may sound harsh, it is not. It is like watching children chasing pigeons in the town square; they are almost in reach, the child runs towards them arms outstretched, the pigeon fly’s off just in time, then lands just out of reach once again.

So what can we do? How do we catch that pigeon?

There is something called ‘de-centralisation’ of the self. We have to know ourselves: warts and all, to acknowledge and recognise our good parts and our not so good parts (and I am not just talking physical here!).

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From this we start to seek something else. But what? There are many words which could be used here, but these names will probably only seek to confuse by conjuring up a pre-conceived and possible mis-representation of what I wish to convey.

So let us imagine instead…. imagine the spark of light, the life giving essence which brought you into existence ….. that light is actually part of you. Not outside you, or separate from you, but a point of light within.

Like a lighted network of flowing life, this point of light connects you to others. It contains your future, your present and your potential. For many it has been hidden away and mis-perceived as being ‘outside’ of oneself, and as such, separate to us. We seek and we strive, running in many directions, looking for answers, looking for acceptance, when that which we seek is already within us.

We are conditioned to believe that we have to try hard, conform, be this way or that, in order to be accepted and loved; in order to be a worthwhile person; to be spiritual but no one teaches us to be ourselves. How ironic that only then will we find happiness, acceptance, self-worth and love.

So many books and teachings claim we have to purge ourselves of many character flaws and faults, of personal indulgences and actions making us feel even worse about ourselves and our misgivings.

In this state of being we are more likely to become critical of others. And, if we are doing well, we then think we can become judge and jury over others and their actions and behaviours.

So what should we do? We come back to the earlier word, De-Centralisation.

When we centre ourselves within, at our inner most core, our point of divine light, we begin to connect to other ‘lights’, making us aware of others’ needs and our destined purpose in life.

Is our destined purpose in life to simply hone and perfect our own life? Or is it to help and inspire others in some way?

When the focus is entirely on our own progress and happiness etc., we become like the child in the town square chasing the pigeon.

However, when we centre within our inner light, our inner voice – and this is no easy task, as the voice of others will undoubtedly be playing very loudly in your inner worlds, be that from teachers, parents, peers, partners etc.

So first we need to silence all that has been heard….. All that is being played back to us through our internal dialogue… when we can quieten that, we are in with a chance of hearing our own inner voice.

Your true inner voice will accept you as you are…. It is not about how perfect you are, but what you can selflessly do for others. Again, it is no good doing good for the purpose of gratitude and self-acceptance, for that will not be the case.

We give because that is what we do. We respond to need, for that is why we are here and, in this giving, we are de-centralising from the self as we are focusing on the need of others. When this happens, we stop chasing the pigeon and become still. The pigeon turns into the dove and this brings us the gift of freedom. Freedom from the limitations of the mind, the limitations of others and the limitations of their beliefs.

Clare Carter

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