These are some of the traits that you may already have experienced with your child.

• They are obsessive in their ways – they thrive on routine, they find change very difficult to handle, they get frightened.
• They are very insecure, they worry about everything however large or small – they find it difficult to deal with other children sometimes. Other children find them different and are jealous of them. They can be very naïve.
• They have a low concentration span and are sometimes disruptive in school. On the other hand they have a very high IQ and very often schools cannot cope with a child who is very bright but also disruptive. In the eyes of the school the two do not go together.

The Education Authority is teaching in ways that Indigo Children do not understand. These children feel like square pegs in round holes – they simply do not fit in. These children know they are different, they don’t need to be told that, but they do need to be told why they are different. They cannot merely ‘fit in; to our schools as they are being made to do at the moment. Only when we try to understand them and listen to what it is they have to say to us, will they begin to benefit.

Indigo children do not like high noise levels, they will cover their ears. Very often they have speech problems, eyes problems and ear problems from a very young age which if not detected early on can hold them back with their learning.

Many Indigo children are diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) – Dyslexic – Asperger’s syndrome – along the Autistic scale. Very often they are referred to a psychologist or psychiatrist and this is not the way forward for these children.

Unfortunately sometimes parents and teachers do not understand these children. As they grow older, if they are not understood they start to self medicate with drink and drugs and can even get into trouble with the police for petty crime etc – some unfortunately commit suicide. In time some commit murder (as we are now seeing now with teenagers).

Being seen as being different by other children can lead to bullying in school and bullying at home by their parents and other family members. All that these children ask for is to be treated with respect. They very often get blamed for something they have not done; it is easier for the parents to put blame onto them because they never complain, they just take the responsibility. This means that any brothers or sisters get away with things that they have done and never owned up to. Indigo children get blamed in school for things that they have not done whilst their classmates get away without the teachers knowing – they know that these children will not tell on them. They are such unconditional loving children.

Sometimes Indigo children are the class clown. They so much want to be accepted and understood by others as normal human beings which of course they are.

Indigos are here to teach us all how we should behave towards each other – with unconditional love. Parents and teachers alike will learn so much from these children. Embrace them, help them and try to understand them. In doing so these children will share with you their inner most thoughts and fears.

Indigo children are very often creative such as drawing, painting and musical. Some are entertainers wanting to please all of the time – as children do.

These children tell their parents who they used to be. They tell their parents of the spiritual children and people that they see. Unfortunately they are not always believed and are dismissed and told ‘don’t be silly’. I can assure you that they are not being silly. These children are very spiritual beings and have had many earthly lifetimes. These children pick their own parents to be able to learn certain lessons, gain experience, develop certain aspects of their character and work on strengthening their weaker areas of spiritual development. Remember you as parents are learning also from these children.

Some Indigos are not as fortunate and are with families that do not understand them or their needs at all. Many are being abused in many ways, even being put into isolation by their family and friends. No one understands them; these children are leading a very bad life.

Sometimes Indigos have screaming temper tantrums. They sometimes feel lonely and not a part of a group- that hurts! Help them to see that the difference is valuable. Ask them would they like to be like everyone else – their answer would more likely be no. The labels that are put on these children makes them believe that they are different in a bad way.

The word indigo is merely the colour of their aura and a far better label than all of the other labels that they are given throughout their lives.

Let us help these children to fulfil what it is that they came on the earth plane to do. Treat them with the love and respect that they deserve and they will reward you tenfold.

Love and Light

Mary Holt D.Hyp MBSCH,  Clinical Hypnotherapist

If you feel your child is Indigo, Mary is the right person to speak to – you can contact her at

mary@maryholt.com or give her a call to arrange an appointment on 01942 601925

Mary’s spirit guide is the famous author William Wordsworth – to buy any of her books or her relaxation CD please visit;

www.maryholt.com

We all have an inner child and for a lot of us that child feels lost, lonely  rejected, unloved and very frightened. Most of us have spent our lives criticising and berating that little child – when all that child wants is to be loved unconditionally.

Most of us learnt as children not to express our true feelings. We were constantly told things like ‘don’t be sad’. Oh please don’t cry, calm down, cheer up, don’t be angry, take that smile off your face, be quiet, you keep your mouth shut, speak to when you’re spoken to, don’t be afraid, if you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about’ etc.

And when verbal, physical or sexual abuse were inflicted upon us, a lot of us coped by cutting off from our feelings completely. Consequently a lot of adults find it hard to cope with feelings – their own and other peoples’.

As children, all we want is to love and be loved. To be accepted exactly as we are. However very few of us were given unconditional love and to try and get the love and attention we wanted, we learnt to play games to get it.

Typical games with roles such as;

•    The Pleaser
•    The Rebel
•    The Driver
•    The Layabout
•    The Victim
•    The Rescuer
•    The Rationaliser
•    The Manipulator
•    The Persecutor/Blamer

For a lot of us, when we tried everything and still felt unsafe and unloved, we then built a large wall around ourselves to protect our hurt inner child. Then as adults we wonder why our lives don’t work. The inner child can cause havoc in our lives and we need to learn what games that inner child is playing and to learn to love that inner child. When we didn’t express our true emotions, those emotions are still being held in the body. We need to find out what feelings we have buried from the past and release them.

The more we learn to love ourselves and that inner child, the more we can allow ourselves to get in touch with these blocked feelings. Once we release these blocked emotions we find we become our true selves, we get in touch with the power within, the greatest potential within each of us. We have learnt these behaviours so well as children that as adults we carry on this behaviour on an unconscious level unaware of how we are causing the havoc in our own loves. It is just like when you are first learning to type, you are aware of the home keys and which finger you use to press which key. However, when you have learnt to type, you do it unconsciously without thinking about it. In fact, if someone were to ask you which finger you use to press the letter C, you would have to stop and look before you could tell them, yet you do it all the time without thinking. You have learnt it so well you do it unconsciously. So it is with the games learnt as children.

THE REBEL decides the best way to get attention is to go against the norm – to stand out in the crowd. Although this gets them attention it is usually not ‘good’ attention, however even bad attention is better than no attention at all.

THE PLEASER -     learns to do just that – to please everyone but not themselves. They say ‘yes; when they really want to say ‘no’ because they are afraid they will upset the other person and that person won’t like them any more. They continually do things that they don’t want to do just to please the other person. They get their needs met by other people liking them. However after years of this behaviour they can lose their own identity and end up not knowing what they want from life.

THE DRIVER – grows up feeling not good enough and is always seeking that love and attention mainly from their parents. They are striving to achieve more and more. Better qualifications, better job, better home, better car etc. There is nothing wrong with this if that is what people want and let’s face it most people do. However, with the driver they are doing it to prove to others that they are good enough. When people who are drivers realise the game they are playing they often admit that they didn’t really want all those qualifications, that they were just trying to prove themselves to others, especially their parents. The ‘i’ll show them’ syndrome.

THE LAYABOUT – or sometimes known as the lazy layabout. This person has usually tried all the other behaviours and didn’t get the love or attention that they needed to they decide ‘what’s the use?’ and give up on life. They drop out of school or college and become unemployed. They are the ones who lay about on the settee all day watching TV and forever saying that they are bored.

THE VICTIM – many children learn to become a victim. They get their needs met by other people taking care of them. They feel they can’t take responsibility for themselves. It’s the ‘poor me’ syndrome. They feel helpless and look to blame others for everything that goes wrong in their loves. When other people try to help them, they always come up with excuses for not taking responsibility such as ‘yes but’ and ‘I can’t do that’.

THE RESCUER – gets their needs met by taking care of others. They rush in to try and solve others’ problems and look after them. This keeps them from looking at their own problems. They do things for the other person rather than show the person how to do things for themselves. This keeps the other person stuck so they can keep looking after them. The rescuer is actually a victim in disguise.

THE RATIONALISER – learnt at an early age to cut off from their feelings and go into their head to figure things out. This is their protection from feeling emotions. However, they are likely to attract people to them that display the emotions that they are holding onto. These people will press their buttons to get them in touch with their buried emotions. When they allow themselves to express those emotions they won’t have the need to attract these people into their lives.

THE MANIPULATOR – gets what they want by manipulating the situation to their own advantage. They don’t ask for what they want directly. They can get very upset when the other person doesn’t fall into the trap and then they accuse the other person of being selfish.

THE PERSECUTOR/BLAMER says nothing is ever their fault. They always pass the blame onto another person or thing. It is much easier for them to do this than to take responsibility for their own actions. The game that is played most of all in any type of relationship is the victim, rescuer, persecutor/blamer and this is how it works.

As I said before, the Victim needs someone to look after them and the Rescuer needs someone to look after. This way they both get their needs met. So the Victim invariable attracts a Rescuer to them. This arrangement works well for a certain length of time and then the Rescuer gets pissed off with putting their own life on hold all the time and they move down to the position of Persecutor/Blamer and start blaming the Victim for everything going wrong in their life. The Victim then becomes very uncomfortable with this as they don’t want to lose the Rescuer so they then move into the position of Rescuer themselves. This makes the Persecutor/Blamer feel better and they then move into the position of Victim. Now the roles have become completely reversed. The one who started off as the Rescuer has now become the Victim.

This strange triangle continues endlessly until one person wakes up to the fact of what is going on (sometimes they never wake up). This person will then decide to leave the relationship or will decide to stay in the relationship and break the chain anyway.

If they decide to stay in the relationship it can take all of their strength and courage to change this situation, however it can be done.

This is why it is so important to learn to communicate with the Inner Child and discover what games we are playing and learn more healthy ways of getting the love and attention that we want and getting our needs met. A healthy emotional inner child creates a healthy emotional adult.

We find as we learn to love ourselves and the inner child, others treat us with love and respect. We start to take responsibility for our loves and we start to create the life we have always wanted for ourselves.

Article by Daphne Whitehouse
0208 531 3441
www.daphnewhitehouse.com

Other articles by Daphne include;

Compassion

Anger

If you have enjoyed this article,

why not visit Daphnes website and buy her CD?

www.daphnewhitehouse.com