Football boots in the hall, a pile of dirty washing the size of Mount Everest (how am I going to get that lot dry??), astro turf bits on the stair carpet and a toilet seat that’s always up. Well I suppose that’s what you get when you live with a house full of men. Men?? Well yes, there’s my husband and my two sons – my baby boys who have now transformed into strong handsome …men. But how did that happen? Not the handsome bit cos they’ve always been lookers but grown up almost over night. It only seems like yesterday when I was doing the rounds of playgroup and nursery school drop offs, bundling them in through the door to the waiting grasp of the teacher. Then having to run round to the big window to wave, a routine which meant we avoided the tears of temporary separation. It only seems like yesterday when we took trips to the zoo, had summer picnics, splashed in the paddling pool, sang nursery rhymes, played football and made snowmen on a rare white Christmas.
But times change and children grow up and I re live these fantastic memories with nostalgic fondness and pride. My boys were great; happy, fun, mischievous, full of life, providing endless entertainment, with their jokes and magic tricks, to all that came across them. But when I think of those younger years I also remember them with some sadness because those years will never come again, and as the saying goes, we can’t “turn the clock back.”
No, we’re into a new era where the boys (still great!) are preparing to flee the nest and start their own exciting journeys into the world. For them, that’s a wonderful prospect; a life full of opportunities to take, freedom to explore and adventure to have. How lucky they are.
For me, I’m about to become a down sized mum, already not needed in the same way, my job description having been re written from its original “You are expected be available 24 hours a day to feed, wash, clothe, play with, and comfort then feed, wash, clothe, play with, and comfort again” to the now “We’ll call you when we need you – thanks” That’s ok boys – I’m proud of your growing confidence and I love to see you so independent, making plans with your friends and I enjoy hearing about your adventures and exploits – well some of them anyway!
However I’m starting to experience a crisis of identity and a feeling that I need to find my own feet again. Who was I before I had my beloved family before I became Mum and left the old world behind? Does the old world still exist? Will I open a door and find everyone from 20 years ago, suspended in time and still partying as if nothing had happened? Can I go back to that point? Do I want to go back to that point?
No, we’ve already established that there’s no going back, this is the time to rediscover ourselves, remember who we are, what we’re good at, what we’ve achieved and what skills we’ve picked up and mastered along the way. We can then write our own “Job description of Me” and plan our own new exciting times. There is life after kids and it can be wonderful and fulfilling. So let’s put ourselves in the dishwasher of life and rediscover ourselves.
So, I’m excited about the prospect of changing times and rediscovery. I’m looking forward to doing new things and meeting new friends. I’m also starting to realise that my nest will never really be empty, my status as Mum will always be the same, it’s just the job description that’s changed. When the boys take flight they will always remember where the safety and support of the nest is and you never know I might also even achieve a tidy one too!!
If you’re about to become a down sized Mum and would like to rediscover the truly fantastic you. Consider the following;
What 3 features do you like best about yourself?
- · Of your life achievements so far which 3 are you most proud of?
- · How would your best friend describe your character?
- · Describe one thing that you enjoyed doing when you were a teenager. What was it that you especially loved about this activity?
By: Joanne Ingham
© Copyright 2009 oanne Ingham
LifeBooster – “Coaching to energise your life”
www.life-booster.co.uk telephone 07873230965
email joanne@life-booster.co.uk
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