Hi I’m Ian Wallace a certified and practising Counsellor, Trainer and facilitator of people’s advancement and understanding of life and life’s issues.
This page will be updated frequently with tips and facts to help you lead a full and emotionally healthy life with your family and loved ones. If you would like a particular aspect of life’s issues focussed on then please e-mail me at my website ian@intuitivetherapy.co.uk and I will try to oblige. Hope these tips help you understand the dynamics of being a human being and how we interact with others to build healthier relationships.
TIPS FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION AND RESOLVING CONFLICT
In contentious communication structures don’t use the words “You or Your” these words increase arguments and give the other person no position or place so they have to respond with verbal, emotional or physical pressure or leave which does not solve anything.
Look at the “Why not What” when people react they do so sometimes in the most illogical way, and the reaction could be to any small thing that is seen to be wrong, that I class as the “What” when in fact the reason for the reaction is the “Why” if you find the why and sort that out then there is no reason for the what to exist.
“Telling not Asking” this is similar to the you your if someone is being told they again have no position so will possibly counter any comment with aggressive behaviour or language.
“Perception and Reality” If you enter into a conversation with a perception of the other persons position, your own view of their world, without finding the reality, the other persons view of their world, this will possibly always create conflict as you again are telling not asking.
“Listen don’t talk” If you really want to understand someone give them space to tell you how it is, interrupting to “Fix” will only cause anxiety and may lead to the telling not asking process.
Face or Fix article: click here
To read my article entitled ‘Conversation’ click here
Another article Remaking Connection gives Ian’s tips on how to rekindle the flame when it has all but gone out!
Copyright Ian Wallace 2000
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